Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Nostalgic?
Today's been a rather uneventful day i guess. That's what I'm sad about. Somehow I can't up the spirit to study. I can't bring myself to do anything. And now it's like i'm wasting my life away. Guess this makes me think of the friends I have. I don't have many friends. And i have even fewer close friends. I know that i have a close friend when the SILENCE between the two of us is comfortable. Right now, I've only reached that stage with one person.
The irony of it is that I've only started to get to know tt person 4 months ago. Is it possible to make a best friend in 4 months? I wouldn't know. It's too early to say anyways. Granted I meet that person about 3 years ago when I was in sec 1. But I never really talked with that person before. I met that person (TP) on the bus cos a friend of mine introduced me to TP. Sometimes we would go back together if my friend had arranged to meet TP after school. But I had never really talked to TP. More than a year past by without me coming into contact with TP. Then I met up with TP to talk about something really personal. I have no idea why i called TP in the first place. I wanted to share my problem with someone and TP was the first person tt came to mind.
But even after that meeting we didn't talk for 6 months? So how is it tt i feel so close to TP?
Is it possible to make a best friend in 4 months? I believe it is. But anyhow, it's too early to say.
Posted by Claire at 2:45 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
For the faithless no explanation is enough... for those who have faith no explanation is needed
Today was an interesting day.
Well, the highlights of my day was commentating during the 1045 mass and spending like 5hrs with Paul.
The commentating went better than i had expected. I had expected that i would mumble or speak too softly. However, i sounded loud and clear. Haha. Whew. Well, that's over. Anyways, I am still a little pissed off that I did not really pray during mass.
Anyways, I'm kinda like stuck now... I'm stuck with some problem i have in life and i can't seem to carry on without resolving it. The problem is that this problem may take a really long time to be resolved. So I have absolutely no idea how i'm going to move on with my life...
Life still goes on whether you want it to or not.
Any suggestions anyone?
Posted by Claire at 8:36 PM
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Lonely...
I've had this feeling often... this feeling of loneliness. I have come to think of it as a friend. Sometimes it comes to sit with me, sometimes it's not that obvious but i can still faintly feel its presence. At times when i feel that i have no one to talk to, it becomes my friend. I take comfort in dwelling in it. It's weird but, sadly, it's true.
We all have friends in this world. Imaginary or not, they're still friends. Some people have more friends than others. Some have better friends than others. Some people do not have friends. There are also those whose friends are only superficial. There are friends that are true. And there are 'friends' who are not.
I daresay that everyone has had a visit from the person called loneliness. At those moments, i feel so alone in the world. At those moments, i feel that life is not worth living. In those times, i feel like taking my life.
But loneliness has a way of making us forget the few precious friends we have in life. They may not be prominent, but they are always there. They may not always make you laugh but they will be there for you when you cry. They don't ask for anything in return and listens to your every word even if they don't agree with them. The thoughts of these people convinces me to let go of all self destructive intentions.
Sometimes i wonder if i'm truly cherished by people. If i didn't exist, would people's life be any different. I guess i just want to matter in this world before i pass away. Even if i die a poor person, i want to die knowing that someone's thinking of me.
Humans all have an inborn desire to matter... don't they?
Appreciate someone and you would have gained a friend.
Show concern and you would keep that friend.
Posted by Claire at 7:20 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Life
Things change when we question the conventional and do the unconventional.
Posted by Claire at 9:45 PM
Friday, February 6, 2009
Moving on...
Went out with paul today, it was super fun. Well, i've been trying to get the irritating thoughts of school and band out of my head my nothing i do can make me let go of those thoughts. Anyway, we were at West Coast Park and were trying to fly a kite while it was drizzling. There wasn't much wind so we had a really tough time getting the kite off the ground. It was only at around 7 to 8pm that we got the kite in the sky. It was a really enjoyable experience. I had to run so as to bring the kite into the air. And I realized that while i was running, my mind just let go of all my worries and just focused on the kite. It was wonderful. I felt as though my mind was free from a cage and free from the constant headache that i have.
I really, really need to do that again...
Posted by Claire at 9:20 PM